Words, Words, Words ... May/June 2023

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My Meandering Mind … May 31st, 2023

Words I Like or Dislike … this may be a long read … or hefty delete …

‘Aiding and Abetting a Criminal’ … I get the ‘aiding’ but have no concept of ‘abetting’… seems like same thing … Helping and Helping a Criminal … either way … all wrong …

This notion of ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’… meh … what doesn’t kill you is usually very expensive $ … the Almighty Medical Dollar …

‘Wart’… as in, ‘Why, that little wart…’ and not a skin blemish.

Okie Dokie … If I ever say this, just go ahead and nail the coffin… mummify me before sundown …

‘Things don’t happen TO you; things happen FOR you…’… Have we met?  Ever?  I hit you in the face with a shovel TO you, not for  you …

My problem, according to my doctor who is the worst living creature on the face of the Earth, says that I ‘overthink’… well, this poor excuse for a doctor is a definite ‘underthinker’ … me, as I change my Primary Care Physician with my insurance …

It’s not that I am a recluse.  It is that I am much to lazy to leave the house.

I remember popcorn in little megaphones at football games… me, pouring out popcorn so I could yell in the person’s ear next to me at the stadium …

You end up reaching an age when you buy white furniture and white carpeting and just don’t cover it up anymore.  I’m there.

You reach an age whenever you break a crystal goblet or a fine bone china plate … and are actually GLAD! One less dish to worry about …

You reach an age whenever you read the obituaries and think ‘Good riddance to bad rubbish’ … OK, no that’s creepy.  Ignore that …

The Universe rewards the Brave.  I’m brave.  You’re brave.  I only associated with rewarded brave people.

When I am laid in the earth …

There I said it.  I like to say that.  After I say something.  There, I said it …

Whenever someone says, “I was sweating like a pig”, I keep my mouth shut.  But, my mind is saying “Pigs don’t sweat.  They can’t. That is why they waller in the mud.”  But, you know, mannerly and all .. I keep my mouth shut.  Steam is coming out my ears, but, yessir, I keep my mouth shut.

I like to say ‘grub’, meaning ‘food’.

I like to say ‘inundated’… even when the word doesn’t fit the sentence meaning …

In real life, I’ve never seen anyone slip on a banana peel, sink in quicksand, or have a stork deliver a baby.  Maybe baby storks but that is the limit.

I like when people say, ‘Thank you kindly’… or better yet, ‘Thank you right kindly’…

I’ve never understood the whole indecision description of, ‘I’m on the fence.’  It seems if you are teetering on a fence, you’d best make up your mind right away.

There is a name for a person who enjoys the suffering of others but for the life of me, I can’t remember what that word is …

So, they must cuss a lot in France … excuse my French … I’ve been in France.  I tried cussing.  It does not work.

Other phrases running through my mind:

Make a Bee Line … or is it B Line?

We creamed ‘em … after an athletic event … said by winners.

Always sit in the back of the airplane … they don’t crash into mountains backwards … old, old joke… created before Orville and Wilbur Wright …

Now, that is ‘uncalled for’ … love it… bad grammar … but love it.

Oh, I think the world of you.

I put on some ‘Good Smell ‘Em’ … (cologne/after shave…)

He flipped his lid.

Skeedaddle

Side hustle.

Off my rocker.

Soldering … Dad always sounded like he was saying ‘soddering’ …

The Life of Riley … who is that?

Slippery slope …

Double-edged sword.

Open a can of whoop ass.  I wish this did come in a can.  I’ve needed it on the ready since sophomore year.

Open a can of worms.

Waiting for my ship to come in.

Waiting for my ‘big break’…

I feel like what the cat drug in.

From the bottom of my heart.

Turkey neck.

Short end of the stick.

We drew straws.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Doggone.

Haywire.

Bygones be bygones.

Let’s call it a day.

Secret of life is to know when to leave the party, know when to leave a relationship, know when to leave a job…

Older I get, the shorter the years.

Friends get fatter, hair gets thinner.
Oh, there are so many other words … thanks for abetting me … word criminal that I be … am … be … are …

 

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