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Showing posts from October, 2018

I like things ... Other than Fletcher's Castoria...October 26, 2018

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I Like Things Essay October 26, 2018 I like some things.   But, to be fair, there are some things that do not live up to expectations.   There are two words which I wish I could erase from my childhood:   Fletcher’s Castoria. I like people who remember, “Fletcher’s Castoria”.   If you do remember it, you recall the most foul-tasting, super-blaster laxative in the history of ever.   A complete gut cleaner… It was Castor Oil on Steroids and tasted like Fido’s ass.   (Using imagination, not research here…) I was only absent once in Mrs. Moser’s second grade class. One day. I stayed one block from the school at my Granny Goddard’s house.   I had a fever.   Granny gave me some Fletcher’s Castoria—and about twenty minutes later, I was running to the Granny’s immaculate bathroom and doing a ‘big job’… I felt so much better. Immediately. She had blue toilet paper which matched her blue tiled walls, blue bathtub and blue toilet.   So, my one smirch of absence was due to

I Like People, Places and Things… Number Four Essay October 22, 2018

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I don’t understand why ‘slim chance’ and ‘fat chance’ are the same thing…but I like it. I like people who yawn so loudly that they shake… usually with a “HOH…OH…OH…HOH”, then shake their head back and forth. I like them. I like the honesty of the babies who, when they wake up, they cry. I mean, deep…deep down… when you wake, don’t you want to just cry. Or, “bawl” your eyes out? I like that word: bawl. It can be used like this: She was so mad she just bawled me out in front of everybody and their dog. Or: Man, alive, he called me into his office and bawled me completely out. I think of calves. Don’t they stand at the fence and ‘bawl’ if they are separated from their Momma Cows? I like big umbrellas… never understood those tiny compact umbrellas which are more just a rumor of an umbrella than one and of itself. I like the cheer, “Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah”, but have never heard it used. I like Sally O’Mally (I’m FIFTY… and I can stretch, and I can KICK!)… I like that Sally

I like ... First in a Long Series...

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I like people who overlook my misspellings.   The way I figure it, I’m a full-grown 59 11/12ths year old man and if I can get past Auto Correct, then let my spelling be.   (See what I did there… let me spelling BEE!) I like people who laugh at corny jokes. I like French Vanilla coffee but not French Roast. I like that someone called me a “Champion of Life”… and that kind of made me happy beyond belief. I like when Facebook friends reply, “Awww”.   I like underdogs.   I like the cold side of the pillow and the first day smell when you turn the heat on… I like people who say, “You’re a peach”… and others who use the term, “Ringed-tailed tooter” and “Wampus Cat”… I like people who praise what they love and don’t whine about what they hate.   I don’t know the difference between “preserves”, “jam” or “jelly”… but I’m glad there are people who do know the difference. I like the concept of “Faux” but do not like its spelling.   I was taught phonetics and this word