Mind Meanderings January 20th 2023

 

Mind Meanderings from Lasterday … January 20, 2023 (can you believe we have all lived to 2023? Used to seem like a futuristic year ... )

 

I like stories.  I like to listen to people tell stories.  Not so much of the content, but the asides … the little comments ‘aside’ of the actual story…

 

Like when people start a story with … ‘You are not going to believe this’… Makes me smile because I’m thinking, you have no idea how gullible I am in believing and stuff …

 

Oh, you don’t know the half of it … when people tell a story and it gets to a revelation, they say, “Well, come to find out …” I love that.  I never remember what we came to find out in the story, just the little aside comment.

My Grandmother Pittman would always tell us stories almost as soon as we arrived at their ranch … she would sit in the kitchen (rare for her) and catch us up on all the stories … her kitchen smelt of fresh eggs (yeah, they have a smell and it is grand), Crisco, peaches and Lux dishwashing soap.

What I loved the most was that whenever she would quote someone she would use a real high pitched different voice and like, “She said …blah blah blah in a hoity toity kind of high pitched voice … then ‘said’ back to  her normal voice and then the high pitched too big for her britches kind of talk … hard to explain but she would just say the word, “said” in her normal voice every now and then to carry the story forward …

I loved her for that … she went to Home Demonstration Club and called it “Demonstation Club” but they weren’t some radical protest group … the demonstations were by the county agent or to show how to do things … but mostly it was to gather stories to tell in high pitched voices later….

 

Wuh! Uh! (Gets a little time before you tell a lie…_)

What’d I do?

 

If the shoe fits, put it on.  Put your old shoes in the shoebox and tell the sales clerk that you will wear them now…. When you leave the store, run up and down the sidewalk and tell someone, ‘I can run faster in these shoes!’

 

I met her ‘in person’… wuh … meeting someone who is human ‘in person’ is kind of reduntant … I mean, are you meeting them ‘in un-person’?  Like an Alpacea? I met her in Alpacea’…  you’d be institutionalized …

I, myself, are Heaven and Hell… (someone wise said that)

Best advice:  Always go to a fat doctor … they won’t fuss at  you about your own weight … this is the truth …

 Lo and Behold!

Hail All Hail.

Hell Aw Hell

Just a know it all …

This year, I’m gonna put mistletoe on my ass and let everyone just figure it out.
Word you read but never say: ajar,

It never fails

If it had been a snake, it would have bit me .

Cant make heads nor tails of it.

Welcome to your 60s - you now think every car has its brights on.

Which will I break first?  My 2023 New Year’s Resolution … Or… My hip? I'm rapidly approaching the age where I will be asking myself each new year, which will I break first? My resolution or my hip?

 

Aw, fiddlesticks!  I have never seen a fiddlestick but I’ve heard it called many times … usually by someone who is not happy about something … every time I lose the billion dollar lottery, I say ‘Fiddlesticks’ … whenever I play the lottery and/or whenever I don’t play the lottery.

 

I have often heard that a barrel of monkeys is fun.  I can’t see that as true.  Monkeys are mean and bite … they throw their poop … and if contained in a barrel … would grit their teeth in anger … nothing fun here … move along …

Sometimes, when people are mad, they will say, “Well, two can play at this game!”… and they aren’t talking about a real game … and really there are few games that only one can play alone … so, yeah, two playing a game is a good thing … as long as there is actually a fun-related game included.