Getting to Morocco

Friday, 1 December 2006
Getting to Morocco

Leaving DFW Airport during an ice storm involved begging and pleading; cancelled flights; de-icing the plane twice and finally getting a flight to Atlanta; then to New York and an overnight flight to Casablanca:  All a long but adventuresome journey.

Got booted to first class since the many changes to the original schedule…free drinks…sat with a mega wealthy mega drunk Brit who cussed like no one I had every heard....it was the filthiest conversation but because of his accent it seemed quite proper.... He told me that the Brits drown all the children who have good teeth.....Raucous flight conversation as you can tell.

 

The happiest moment was seeing my luggage at the Casablanca airport....the traffic is a mix of Mercedes and Ox Carts....and horses....the Moroccan horses are beauts.

 

I was here only 15 minutes when I saw the first dead body....poor soul was crossing the street during rush hour and he didn’t make it across....I’ve never seen a dead and very bloody corpse.  I look both ways for sure.

 

I don’t understand anyone; the keyboard is Arabic. and i am on my own until tomorrow....I have used a bottle of hand sanitizer and a, taking Airborne every 30 minutes.....this is an adventure for a germaphobic like me....

 

The doorways are detailed and intricate beyond description...people are intrigued with an American and tell me Texas is very good....New York not so good.

 

 

Friday, 1 December 2006
Casablanca, Morocco

Tomorrow I will join q group of 37 people:  I am the only American:  **Hey; I really can type but it’s this Arabic keyboard . . . Seriously; I can type!

Went alone to the Ancient Market in Casablanca today....it is their Holy Day and I saw about 5000 praying simultaneously.  Amazing site but I could not bring, myself to take a photo...too intruding...Casablanca is literally white house....there are millions of all white structures as far as you can see.

 

I bought their soccer shirts and have begun wearing them in hopes of making friends and fitting in; well as much as I could ever fit in...

 

Tomorrow; a sultan’s palace and to Fez; which is to be one of the most beautiful cities in Africa:

 

Food?  Well; it’s not exactly what I would write home about so I won’t...

 

Most of the women are veiled and the ones that aren’t; should be:

 

Saturday, 2 December 2006

I’ve made friends with all the Brits and Aussies.  Many stories to tell and even more that will never be told.

 

Here are some random thoughts on Morocco:

 

The in-flight graphics on Royal Air Morocco look like Etch A Sketch technology.

The Beer is called Flag Beer; made in Morocco and I was ordering Especiale; thinking that meant Lite Beer; but it means double the alcohol; so....WooWoo...

·    A Kasbah is a former military fortress (think: French Foreign Legion who owned, I mean Owned Morocco from 1912 to 1956) so I went to several Kasbahs today; along with some Medinas which are original towns surrounded by old walls.  Most date to 1 a.d.

·    The leather goods stink like Rovers Bottom.  Literally.  The leather is soaked in pigeon excrement which has a quality of making it soft but it smells to High Heaven.  Would you like some pigeon poo soaked leather for Christmas....anyone???

·    No photos of the police:  E.Nuff Said.

·    I am at the start of the Sahara Desert and it has rained like crazy here....The Sahara is drenched...is it me?  Seriously.

·    I will ride a camel in the Sahara and watch the sunset.  This sounds like a Christmas card photo op.

·    I brought Instant Oatmeal.  I will survive.

·    Really the food is amazingly wonderful:

·    Cosairs is a name for Pirates; Did not know that.

·    The palm trees have dates.  Not coconuts.  The grapefruit crop apparently is booming and they need tree shakers--they don’t pick olives or grapefruits--they shake the trees.

·    Great lunch was pachine which is miniature meatballs in an earthen bowl that is serving boiling hot and then an egg is cracked in the chili like meatball soup and you can eat the boiling concoction when the egg is cooked:

·    I have to pay 1 diryam to go to the bathrooms here which are latrine style and man oh man you  just aim and close your eyes for sure.

·    The poinsettia trees are about 5 stories high.  No Lie.

·    We were told by out British guide that we mustn’t eat on the bus since it would leave a greasy residue....or as she said it 'A GRASSY Rez-DOO'

·    Mosques and more Mosques.  Call to Prayers Five Times A Day: hence the five pointed star was seen so often in the Muslim world:  Beginning at 5:30 a.m.  Who needs an alarm?

 

Doing well:  Meeting lots of folks:  They like it when I say the number 5.  Are they laughing AT or WITH me?

 

Tuesday, 5 December 2006
Fez-Erfoud

Morocco has a 36 million population and half is under age 15.  The educational system was not prepare for the growth and cannot serve most, making this country one of the highest illiteracy rates in the word.  The military turns away volunteers since it cannot handle so many.

 

Went to the open market at a nearby oasis today and they gave me fresh mint leaves as I entered.  Did not know what to do with them at first but after the smell from the donkey park hit me, I stuffed the mint leaves up my nose.  About 7000 donkeys for hire.  Ass Park.

 

I Rented a Range Rover today with a private guide.  He just received his doctorate degree and speaks more than 10 languages.  I am craving Mars bars and Sonic Ice and Dr Pepper.  Even with all that education the guide could not help me.

 

The village’s buildings are made of mud and straw, as is the Kasbah that I am staying at.  Several movies were made here and Matthew McCaughney Kate Winslet and Penelope Cruz photos are in the lobby of past guests.

 

The women are all named Fatima and the men Kareem, Abdul or Jamal.  Odd.

 

One of the ruins I visited today; in Arabic; sounds like Sacred Mess which I thought was appropriate.

 

I saw a glass eater and for a Dhiyrma--about 8 cents--he would crush the glass and eat it.  For another Dhiyrma, he cut barbed wire and ate that with the glass.  Cool, huh?

 

The snake charmer only kicked his snakes ever now and then.

 

Couscous morning noon and night, Olives for breakfast...the oatmeal instant packets are serving me well.

 

Tuesday, 5 December 2006
Fez

The open air market at Fez was a once in a lifetime experience....thank goodness.  The camel carcasses, the chicken butcher, the baskets of goat heads....eyes open and tongues out....and the smells....were too much for me.

 

The tannery was this huge spread of hides from all sorts of animals soaking in pigeon poop.  Then they were transferred to vats of different colors...made for a nice photo but i threw away all the clothes I was wearing that day.

 

Drove to the alpine region with tall mountains and lots of snow.  Barbary apes and black panthers galore but the panthers eat the apes in that circle of life thing.

 

The drive through the Atlas Mountains was spectacular....like a continuous Big Bend of Texas complete with a Grand Canyon.

 

I am in the Sahara Desert now at an ages old Kasbah.  Except for electricity; you could be in any time; looks so Biblical here with the carpets, wood burning fires in the rooms, and everyone wearing flowing robes.

 

I have challenged an Aussie family to a camel race today and of course I have done my fair of trash talking.  I think the 10 year old boy and his 12 year old sister will go down in defeat in the desert.   Plan to shave my head and wear spandex for aerodynamics.  We are calling in the World Cup of Camel racing and Team America is sponsored by Fake Prada as I had to replace the shoes I wore to Market with a fake pair of Prada from a street vendor.

 

Will be on the dunes on a camel at sunset and thank God for giving me this opportunity and the many I enjoy.

 

All well, well fed, and healthy.

 

Tuesday, 5 December 2006  
Lawrence of Arabia

Certainly I was victorious in the World Cup of Camel Racing--it is amazing how fast the camel can go when you give the handler 50 dihyram about five bucks.  Anyway I was first and proved that ,y athleticism has been well hidden all these years.

 

The sunset on the mountainous dunes was spectacular with the full sky ablaze with unique colors.  The sun slowly went down until just a tiny fireball was visible.

 

Then I turned in the opposite direction and as if by special effects, the full moon began rising past the dunes.  Incredible.

 

I did goof up today.  There was a line for the restroom in this small desert hotel lobby and I am so used to the latrine style hole in the floor toilets that I chose to go into the old style rather than wait for the English style toilet.  I thought the toilet hole looked awfully small but began my business anyway.  I thought it was odd that you could chose between hot and cold flush water and though the tile work looked nice.  When I came out a fourteen year old kid told me I just went in the shower.

 

Am trying to convince the chefs to let me cook a Mexican dinner tonight.  The right ingredients are all here but they just don’t  mix the way they should to make good food.  I just need some Pace Picante

 

Wednesday, 6 December 2006

It was filmed at the city I am visiting now-->Pronounced something like WaZZZZat...but spelled something like Oaquarate.

 

Great drive through the Atlas Mountains and watched several rock climbers scaling the cliffs.  Visited town that is the Rose Capital of Morocco, complete with Rose Festival; Rose Queen. and Rose Museum.  No Broadway Square Mall with a food court however.

 

Films made on location here include Gladiator; Romancing the Stone, Kingdom of Heaven, Alexander the  Great, Jewel of the Nile...

 

Phase I heard today:  Willy, Willy, Willy

Which Means: My, My, My

 

So all I have to say tonight is Willy Willy.....Willy

 

 

Thursday, 7 December 2006
Marrakech Morocco

OK.  This is the reason I wanted to see Morocco.  What a picturesque place.  Passed through high granite mountains with elevation of 2500 kilometers; much snow; then down the steep incline to the most beautiful oasis in the desert.  I am going with a group to the Square of the Dead...they used to hand the heads of the bad guys there....now I expect to see the heads of goats.  We plan to see on a rooftop restaurant....or a bar....and watch the glass eaters and fire swallowers.

 

I plan to eat camel kabobs...they alternate the meat with a peice of the hump...tenderizer doncha know....

 

They keep saying Camel but don’t camels have two humps?  These have only one and it seems there is a word for them...something like dramaderry....one of those words that you only see in a really hard crossword puzzle...would google it but my internet is on a timer and I rush to finish before the bell rings....much like those typing tests in high school and you see I perform just the same now as then.

 

Great fun.  They laugh at ,my saying y’all a lot.

 

Some have become violently ill and I started a sweepstakes with a 50 dirham buy in to guess who falls ill next.  Being the bookie I think my odds are staggering.

 

 

Friday, 8 December 2006
Marrakesh Mania

The Square of the Dead is the most bizarre and exotic place I have ever encountered.  It is like a North African Mall of America.   Thousands of people there at all hours mostly young people.  Musicians, dancers, comedians, boxing matches, a lady with a chicken on her head and she was doing pelvic thrusts in my direction--what  does that mean?

 

Tragic place; as well.  Young man doing wild antics? Then they bring out a week old baby and there are loud cheers? There was some broken glass and I prepared for the worst.  More than 500 people watching and I could not figure out what was going to happen.  Then the young man singled me out--go figure--and was screaming at me to give him money...or what...was he going to hurt the child if I didn’t?  Tragic child.  I left immediately.

 

Sat with a snake charmer and held the cobra.

 

Man selling used false teeth.

 

Got a henna tattoo and am promised it will wear off.

 

Ate at Pizza Hut and not feeling so great.  Isn’t that my luck to eat something normal and get punished?

 

The food court at this Square had every imaginable thing to eat including snakes? snails, goat heads, lamb heads, and French fries.

 

Going to a 1àà1 Arabian Nights Show and a Casino.  Hope to win at Wheel of Fortune Hunters.  Got my 1000 Dihyrma ready.  Maybe I will win Dramadery Camel.

 

This is the place to be.  See y’all soon.

 

Friday, 8 December 2006
Berbers

*The Berbers are these nomadic aggressive salespeople who totally surround me saying things like Good Price and Best Quality and truly are as annoying as fire ants.  They surround me like the photographers do Paris Hilton on a red carpet; only instead of paparazzi I am calling them the Berberazzi; Relentless.

 

Went to a Berber Pharmacy and got all kinds of potions for any type of ache or pain. Soap and shampoo that looks like rocks--wait---do you think I bought rocks?  Christmas gifts for sure.

 

Bought a train set at the Square that has George W. in an army tank chasing Osama on a skateboard around the track.

 

Lots of fun but ready for a Dairy Queen Hungerbuster.

 

We leave tomorrow for Casablanca and will see some sights and yet again another Mosque.  I plan to go to the Hyatt.  They have a bar that looks like the movie Casablanca, which was filmed entirely in Hollywood and none on location.  Movie posters of Bogart and I can tell them I am from the hometown of the guy who played Sam the piano player.  Should get me a free round, eh?

 

Saturday, 9 December 2006

Marrakech Express

 

Marrakech is the Las Vegas of the Muslim world.  There are many conventions here along with entertainment not found in other places.  Went to the sole casino and won a jackpot of 1000 diryham and since I didn’t have a lot of time I just cashed out.  The casino management surrounded me and said I should leave.  They came up with a dozen or so excuses and the message clearly was We Take Your Money You don’t Take Ours.  Very bad to be banned from the only casino.

 

Went to a floor show with acrobats, snake charmers...enough already with kissing a cobra....belly dancer....and the folklore music which sounds like a dentist drill.

 

Did enjoy going through a palace with intricate designs on the ceilings and floors and doors.  So much artwork you become immune to beauty.

 

Finally saw some Americans and they told me that they spent three nights in the desert in tents, sleeping in the parkas to fight off the cold, but that the sunrises were awe inspiring.  That really is the truth.  The real beauty here is the nature.

 

Casablanca by noon and Ill get a cab driver to give me a ride about tour and of course...McDonalds.

Monday, 11 December 2006
The People You Meet

 

The people you meet on these trips are usually more interesting than the places visited.  Being the only American, it was an interesting dynamic for me. 

 

Became close to a family from Australia, the Sabdias from Brisbane.  He is an attorney in real estate development; she is fourth generation Australian, with their two children--10 year old Zia and his 12 year old sister Tahira.  Raffik and Saadia made my trip and I hope to go visit them.  The kids were by my side most of the time and hearing them giggle was truly a treat of the trip.  The family's sense of humor was so close to Texan it confirmed my theory that Australians and Texans have a close view of life.  The Sabdias were going on to Spain and Dubai for the remainder of their trip.  Telling them goodbye was emotional the kids and Saadia were all in tears with me not far from it.  Raffik said "Who would have thought that we would travel to Morocco and love a Texan?"

 

Another travel mate was Kieran, a defense attorney from London.  He just made partner at his firm and is only 35.  Great sense of humor and he would try to tell a joke and get himself tickled and was laughing and crying before he ever got to a punch line.  We caused a great amount of trouble.

 

There is always one person in the group who is a burden and this time that was Sharon (Blarin' Sharon), a retired civil servant spinster from Australia with a screeching Monty Python skit type of voice.  She only goes on trips to boss others around.  I had one conversation with her the first day and figured the case out pretty quickly.  I avoided her the rest of the trip  But the others were chastised and scolded for every thing they did.  Kieran petted a cat and the woman began chewing him out and he told her  in that British way of making your point, :"Rally, that's awl up to Me, eh?" 

 

Blarin' Sharon was the One to Avoid throughout the trip.  She kept the bus waiting on our last day for 20 minutes because she was trying to explain to the hotel manager how to replace a broken window pane.  She called me ignorant for not knowing the historical significance of some drum beat pattern from Japan. 

 

The other person to avoid was Naomi the Creature. She had the worst teeth, wore the same food stained clothes for 10 days straight, the hairiest chin and legs I have ever seen on any human, the worst smelling oily hair.  No one would sit by her and it offended her husband, who was remarkably clean and a good conversationalist.  Some shop keeper accidentally bumped into Naomi once and she went into a cuss word tirade.  It was the only time I heard her speak.  Will have to find a photo of this one.

 

There were many younger professionals on this trip, mainly from Britain, who were fun to go explore the cities with.  There were three couples who had become friends when their children were friends in school.  The children are all spread out now and the now retired couples have remained friends and have traveled for more than 10 years together.

 

There was a couple from Britain and the wife had hot pink hair but she kept it covered when we went out in order not to draw attention to herself.  Their 14 year old son had a face of freckles, red hair, and the best manners of anyone in the group.  He was a great part of the trip and I convinced him to do a cannon ball into a cold swimming pool once and he bought some soccer shirts after I told him that they made great souvenirs when you travel.

 

The most impressive traveler was a nice looking young man named Chris who has severely disabled legs but maintained the same pace with help from corrective shoes.  He suffers from cerebral palsy so his speech was limited.  But he made it a point to never slow the group down; one memory of Chris is his determination to cross a fast moving river with us on the moss covered rocks and I truly fought back tears at his spirit.

 

I have no problems.  I lead a charmed life. 

 

Chris' partner and caregiver, Janice, was amazing as well.  Never discount the caregiver.

 

Chris is a published poet and this is the poem he gave me on the last day about our trip:

 

Way of the Zig Zag

 

Upper sharpened mountain lines converged

Twisting sheer water darted left and right.

Slower liquid slipped on ever changing contours.

Dry rocky sandheld memories of torrents.

The nomads searched arid courses

chewing grazed disparate sources.

Truncated paths between ochre homes

Earth and tarmac routes roared

Planned visitors' crammed days

Voices aligned expected prices

Hands tended layered soil

Channelled flowing life diverted

Eternal salt filled pulse

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, 11 December 2006
This and no more...

 

After about a 36 hour continuous motion, I am home safely.  Four bus fares, three total airfares, and a 3 hour drive home with sleep deprivation in the fog and rain.  Am putting off sleep for awhile longer and will be in the office tomorrow.  Edna the Siamese cat will not get out of my lap and the bills and laundry will wait.

 

Here are final thoughts:

 

• Morocco is not a welcoming place.  Neither terrain nor population.  Only saw one smile without a tip.  There was a little boy begging for food outside of McDonald's in Casablanca.  There is a difference in begging for food than for begging for money.  Got him a Happy Meal and handed him the toy inside first, but that didn't make him smile.  The food did.  Gave him some money as well and, again, he was more interested in the food.
• Custom forms asked if I had touched livestock and my mind raced through all the muck and mess I had trampled through in the Medinas (camel remains amongst the others) and the camel, er...dromedary....that I rode in the desert....lied on the form and answered No.  Who would have believed the mess endured?
• On the plane I was annoyed that the man next to me smelled so bad until he got up and I could smell the stink.  Think it was me this time.
• So starved for music that on the plane I could hardly wait for the headphones and the only English channel had the Carpenters' 70's hit "Won't Last a Day Without You", jammed like it was the best song ever found.  That's what listening to constant Al Jazeera TV will do to you.
• Things to remember on next trip:  More and More Instant Oatmeal, power bars, cereal bars; Air Freshener; Four Ply Tissue; and No Floorshows with the word "Folklore Dancers" in the advertisement.  Geez.
• Interesting Sights:  Huge Stork Nests and flocks of the Giant Birds; Morocco is where old Mercedes come to die...huge flocks of these, too;
• Having attorney contacts all over the world will come in handy one day for me.
• Cactus from the Southwest Americas was brought to Morocco for fencing and you see these long rows of cactus outlining property lines.  The soil is prepared without machinery but looks neat and includes furrows around patches of their crops to keep in what little water is received.

 

Thanks for being patient with the narratives of the trip--help me document the travel and keep me away from the dreaded postcard stands.

 

Home:  Hot, hot shower with great water pressure; fluffy soft towels; clean sheets with nice clean fragrance; Dr. Pepper; crisp bacon; Homemade guacamole, salty chips, and homemade nachos. Trip to Target without hesitation.

 

We have it made here in America and it takes a long, long journey to find out the blessings in abundance at our home place continual.