I like Essay November 8th 2018
The memories I have of my Great Grandmother Lee are truly
fuzzy … but, the one thing I remember about her… is that she would never say,
“Good-bye”… She would say, “I love you and see you next time…”
But, never, ever… would she say the word, “Good-bye”. So, I guess it’s in my DNA, I dislike the
whole concept of good-byes…. How can it be ‘good’ if you are telling someone
‘bye’?
I like the fact that whenever my fly was open, my parents
would say, “XYZ” as our secret code for eXamine Your Zipper…
I like to think of the Hereford heifers in Hereford, Texas…
say that aloud …. But lately, I get these nutty robo calls and the ID is
Hereford, Texas. I don’t like that. Robo calls take a little bit of our limited
time on Earth away and we never will get that time back.
I like dogs with black ‘roofs of their mouths’. Dad Goddard always said that good dogs have
black roofs of the mouth. He never cited
the study but I still look in dogs’ mouths to see their roof color.
I like Absorbine Junior… the liquid form with sponge
applicator and now the stick-on pain patches.
My Lovely Aunt Lola believed it to be a ‘cure all’… even just smelling
it helped… she was all about essential oils before it became a craze. Again, it’s in my DNA and I’m all about the
power of smells. My strongest sense is
smelling. When I dream, I have smells in
my dreams… that is either an indication of genius or criminally insane… fine
line between the two anyway…
I am a brand-loyal consumer… the real stuff… Bayer
(Grandmother Lee called every kind of aspirin, “Bayers”). I think ‘off brands’ are all watered down.
The hardest word for me to type is the word, ‘minimum’…
Every night, I feed the fox family. Is that ‘foxen’? Every night at about 9;30
p.m. they come over from a protected forest across the street. Sometimes coyotes come over. Either way, the both poop where I feed
them. Is this their way of saying ‘thank
you’? or do they poop so that only they would want to ever eat there
again? My driveway is full of ‘scat’
which is a nice word for wild animal poo.
At times, their ‘scat’ looks like elephants have pooped there…. That
shows they are VERY appreciative…
I think that sportscasters are the best dressed humans.
I like to hear the phrase about plants, “They are very
forgiving”… plants that you can trim back, let grow, transplant… and they
flourish…. And they are very forgiving.
I wish more people were like that.
Is it ‘chump’ change or ‘jump’ change?
Whenever I say something, and someone replies, “I could have
told you that…” , I think, “Well, why didn’t you???”
I like to respond to questions with, “That’s for me to know
and you to find out.” It’s no wonder
people like to hit me.
Sometimes, people tell me things I can do nothing
about. Such as when someone says, “I
need to go to the bathroom real bad.” I
can’t do anything about that. Unless I
show them where the fox and coyotes eat.
I like the words, “snippets”, “odious”, and “sugar” (as in…
‘give me some sugar’… a kiss).
I think using ‘reverse psychology’ is the same thing as
using a sort of psychology. It’s just
the use of the unexpected rather than the expected. I like that.
I prefer ‘reverse psychology’…
I like to respond to questions with the answer, “That’s for
me to know and you to find out.” Again,
no surprise I am the target of knuckle sandwiches.
I like that my parents would walk out of a movie or drive
out of a drive in if the movie was a bit too mature for us as kids. I watch those same movies today and, gosh,
the content was so mild… but wasn’t for children then… or now.
I like to be called “a pill”.
Years ago when things were all quiet in our house, Dad
Goddard hollered at us, “Boys, what are YOU doing?”…. “Nothin’”, we replied
honestly. “Well, STOP IT!”….
That’s some things I like today. There are many more but, for now, I’ll not
say ‘Good-bye’… but “I love you and will see you soon.”
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