Dr. Larry Pittman Goddard Blog

I Like Things Essay October 26, 2018 I like some things.   But, to be fair, there are some things that do not live up to expectations.   There are two words which I wish I could erase from my childhood:   Fletcher’s Castoria. I like people who remember, “Fletcher’s Castoria”.   If you do remember it, you recall the most foul-tasting, super-blaster laxative in the history of ever.   A complete gut cleaner… It was Castor Oil on Steroids and tasted like Fido’s ass.   (Using imagination, not research here…) I was only absent once in Mrs. Moser’s second grade class. One day. I stayed one block from the school at my Granny Goddard’s house.   I had a fever.   Granny gave me some Fletcher’s Castoria—and about twenty minutes later, I was running to the Granny’s immaculate bathroom and doing a ‘big job’… I felt so much better. Immediately. She had blue toilet paper which matched her blue tiled walls, blue bathtub and blue toilet. ...

I don’t understand why ‘slim chance’ and ‘fat chance’ are the same thing…but I like it. I like people who yawn so loudly that they shake… usually with a “HOH…OH…OH…HOH”, then shake their head back and forth. I like them. I like the honesty of the babies who, when they wake up, they cry. I mean, deep…deep down… when you wake, don’t you want to just cry. Or, “bawl” your eyes out? I like that word: bawl. It can be used like this: She was so mad she just bawled me out in front of everybody and their dog. Or: Man, alive, he called me into his office and bawled me completely out. I think of calves. Don’t they stand at the fence and ‘bawl’ if they are separated from their Momma Cows? I like big umbrellas… never understood those tiny compact umbrellas which are more just a rumor of an umbrella than one and of itself. I like the cheer, “Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah”, but have never heard it used. I like Sally O’Mally (I’m FIFTY… and I can stretch, and I can KICK!)… I like that Sally ...

I like people who overlook my misspellings.   The way I figure it, I’m a full-grown 59 11/12ths year old man and if I can get past Auto Correct, then let my spelling be.   (See what I did there… let me spelling BEE!) I like people who laugh at corny jokes. I like French Vanilla coffee but not French Roast. I like that someone called me a “Champion of Life”… and that kind of made me happy beyond belief. I like when Facebook friends reply, “Awww”.   I like underdogs.   I like the cold side of the pillow and the first day smell when you turn the heat on… I like people who say, “You’re a peach”… and others who use the term, “Ringed-tailed tooter” and “Wampus Cat”… I like people who praise what they love and don’t whine about what they hate.   I don’t know the difference between “preserves”, “jam” or “jelly”… but I’m glad there are people who do know the difference. I like the concept of “Faux” but do not like its spelling.   I was t...

Larry Pittman Goddard 3 hrs  ·  Often I am asked, "How do you want to die?"... and my mind cannot help but think of a bald man, petting a white Persian cat in a James Bond movie.... why did the bad guys always spend more time telling James Bond HOW they were going to kill him than it would have taken for a fast, blast of murder.... And why I am asked this question makes me suspicious of the 'asker'... Regardless... , I have always wanted to die of OLD age. My question now is.... exactly when does one qual ify for that? With this Six-Damn-ty Birthday on the horizon (2 month countdown)... if I died today, could I get away with 'he died of old age'.... or would that be up for debate? Am I, then, too young to die of old age? I go to Brookshire's on Tuesdays and LIE at checkout by telling them I am 60 and get a 5% senior discount. I have lied about my age twice: To vote at age 17 (Eugene McCarthy--others had fake ID...

Egyptian Travel Blog  Left Tyler at 5:30 A.M. Thanksgiving Day and arrived here in Cairo Friday night at 8:30 p.m. It is their three-day Festival of Feast which means they all stay home and eat--which is great for me since now there is no traffic. They do a Black Friday kind of deal, but it is for grocery stores only. We are on the west bank of the Nile which is Giza and the other side of the Nile is Cairo, but the names are used both ways.  What I saw of the new Cairo Heliopolis is beautiful; Mubarak’s home is heavily secured; they haven't had a war since 1973 and that was with Israel. Everyone is formal and friendly and I'm looking for their soccer shirt--war almost broke out with one country and |Egypt over a soccer game recently so I think it would behoove me to wear their national team shirt. Will climb pyramids tomorrow (Giza) and of course the ever-present open market, medina, stinky sales market which you know I will be sanitizing my hands c...

Fun Facts about Ecuador:  I love their phrase: "tipo" which means "Oh, some time around then"  See you at 10 a.m. tipo! Transportation  ■Stop = yield. This is no joke. A friendly tap on the horn as you approach an intersection is about all the warning you’ll get from an approaching car. And following behind the car in front of you? That’s for suckers. Ecuadorians continually tailgate and pass the cars in front of them. We’ve even seen buses pass each other at night on 2-lane curvy mountain roads. No one wants to wait once they get in the car (before they get in the car, that’s another story!).  ■The “Ecuadorian Nanosecond” is the flash of time between the light turning green and the person behind you honking the horn.  ■Buses will stop for anyone on the side of the road that flags them down. In fact, the bus driver is joined by a guy who’s job is to stand at the door calling out the bus destination and looking for new riders.  ■The coun...