Dr. Larry Pittman Goddard Blog

. The people who need firecracker safety tips aren't the people who read firecracker safety tips.... Always remember and don't ever forget...He who goes forth with a fifth on the Fourth MAY not go forth on the Fifth! There are two secrets to success in Life. #1: Never tell everything you know. I’ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason. There's just so much disappointment in my life. I bet the YMCA dance is a lot harder to do in Chinese. I find it highly suspicious that the three bears had the dexterity to buy furniture and make porridge in the first place, not to mention making up the bedding. And getting a charge card....all highly mysterious to me. What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool. It would be kind if some people performed random acts of silence. I heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart. Did...

Under the spreading chestnut tree, the town’s smithy doth ply his trade…. Blacksmith making horseshoes is the theme of that poem and seems our permanent substitute teacher, Mavis Something, would quote it from memory – all about the black smith. Well, I’ve decided, after much thought… to become a ‘wordsmith’…. I will invoice most of you soon and my rates may be overwhelming but there are great rates on second mortgages now. I do love/like/cherish words.   And I collect old sayings.   For instance, a friend asked me about ‘sound sleep’ and for me to expound upon the term. I know my friend to be a University Administrator and expounding made me laugh more than the ‘sound sleep’.   As my Granddad would say, “I don’t snore.   I stayed awake all night and not once did I snore.” In the early morning with my bowl of ‘oats’ (oatmeal… but he told me it was the same oats I fed the horse, Candy, and he kept in the grain bin)… anyway, sleepily eating my oats, Grand...

You know what gets my goat? First of all, not hearing enough people saying that phrase anymore.... Next, I have never had a goat... which in itself a sad story .... poor pitiful me... but, back to me... Who is getting these people's goats? I heard a man say that saying and I know for dang sure, he did NOT have a goat in the first place... so when he asked me, "You know what gets my goat?" I told him he didn't have a goat, never had a goat, needs to see a specialist because, you know what gets my goat? People asking me for professional assistance when I don't have the Cuckoo Training License ... Gets my goat. I used to get all corrective when someone called a child 'a kid'... A 'kid' is a baby goat.... not a student, not a student/athlete, not a child... Kids are baby goats... My campaign to change the language and NOT call a child 'a kid' was a failure and one I try not to let it get my goat. Nowadays, I correct NO one... even...